Date: 3/24/2010
While having super powers undoubtedly has its fair share of advantages, there are some surprising drawbacks to boasting such an extraordinary set of skills. Just look at the X-Men comic books and films, or even the Heroes television series, and you'll see that many of the super powerful men and women in both stories are plagued by bad will stemming from their "gifts." These people have difficulty fitting in with mainstream society, relating to their comparatively normal loved ones, even keeping their powers in check while going shopping for groceries at the local super market.
And I bet you anything that some of these super humans straight up suck at video games.
As I've already shared my opinions on which superpowers you'd most want at your disposal in order to efficiently navigate a video gaming experience, it's only fair to shine the spotlight on which powers you wouldn't want to have -- and believe me, there are plenty of them.
Animal Morphing: When it comes to escaping from the roof of a twenty-story building or squaring off against a threatening woodland creature, there are few skills other than animal morphing that you'd want at your disposal. Who wouldn't enjoy the ability to turn into an elegant eagle or a ferocious bear in those instances? Sadly, while this gift is certainly helpful under extreme circumstances, it's not exactly conducive to something mundane like game playing, as you would lack the opposable thumbs to properly use a controller. I suppose that a monkey could operate the Wii remote without too much difficulty, but that assumes that they have the attention span to sit around and play.
Fire & Ice Manipulation: In survival situations, the ability to spontaneously create fire or ice would be greatly beneficial depending upon the climate of your isolated location of choice. That said, both fire and ice manipulation wouldn't help you much when it comes to mastering a video game. Melting or freezing your controller isn't going to help your in game progress, that's for sure. The only shot at effectively utilizing these powers is to melt or freeze your opponent's controller, but you would be doing so at the risk of setting your house ablaze or turning it into a somewhat contained ice age incident.
Magnetism: How many times have you sat across the room from your television set and wished that your video game controller would come flying straight into your hand at your command? With the powers of magnetism, you could theoretically perform such a task thanks to a controller's metal screws and partially metallic interior, but could you really pull off such a maneuver without ripping the metal straight out of the controller or even out of the gaming console itself? For something like this, you might be better off with telekinesis -- or you might just want to get off the couch and manually pick up the controller. Just a thought!
Phasing: Walking through walls might be helpful when it comes to robbing a bank, but how on earth would it help you when it comes to beating a difficult video game level? Based upon the fictional works of popular culture that I've studied, super powers have a tendency of becoming uncontrollable in highly emotional situations. If that's true, then there's no denying that a frustrating gaming experience would provoke some understandably hostile superpower discharge. If phasing is your power of choice, you can be sure that a frustrated foot stomp will cause you to plummet through several floors and, potentially, through to the center of the planet. For your own personal health, you'd want to avoid having this power when it comes to rage-inducing gaming situations.
Super Strength: Speaking of superpowers you wouldn't want to have in terms of improving your video game playing experience, super strength ranks high on the list. Let's forget the fact that thanks to your enhanced physical prowess, you'd most likely crush the controller in the palm of your hand whether by accident or out of pure aggravation. But even if you can control your powers in such a basic situation, I doubt you could contain yourself in the face of losing your unsaved progress after a particularly difficult level. Such an instance of sheer frustration would send a super powerful superhuman on a rage-filled rampage that only can only end with the angry gamer furiously flailing his arms atop the Empire State Building -- and considering how King Kong ended, that's not an ideal situation for anybody.